From time to time it's interesting to make a stop, and think about where we are standing... where do we come from?... what is what we really want to do?...
And in an afternoon, with some friends -as usual-, the perspetives of a change in life are appearing around a bottle of Chilean Red Wine. It is a Merlot from Torreon de Paredes, 2003. I don't have the information with me right now so I can't say anything more of it but what I CAN say is that the future, allthough uncertain, seems exciting! and the camembert and Roquefort cheeses that maridate with the Merlot were awsome!
My husband is looking forward to the beginning of a new job, new friends, new projects, new perspectives doing what he loves - to fly-.... allthough he is facing a new, unknown challenge ... to get to know me better...
I hardly believed that women could feel so strongly about things and I usually I discouraged the use of a "sixth sense" in women just to justify insecurities.... and now... I feel stupid... because it is exactly what I feel!
For some time, I have been feeling "wrong" about the way a coleague talks to my husband, and the feeling has become more powerful lately... just like if she is just trying to see how strongly he feels about me, and on the other hand it is just like if my husband wants to feel desired by someone else (besides me) and likes to flirt with the idea and with her!.
To be honest, I used to be like that... as a matter of fact it is how I met my husband and it is how I started to have feelings for him and probably that's why I project that experience in him and "see" things where there are not. Stupidities.... yeah! because he is with me, I can feel it, I know he is in my bed, ... but the worst of all.....is that he is feeling trapped, surrounded, and to some extent "imprisoned" by my jealousy.
I don't know where they come from, but definitely that have to go away.... I am very passionate about everything: my love, my family, my job, etc.... but now... It seems like I have centered my world in him, and this is just not right!.
I have to give him space and give myself space, but the major challenge is to find the balance.... It seems that I just can't find it!.... too much love can kill too! even for wine!
Anyway after this self-therapy, with no other purpose but to convince myself that a balance is mandatory I just want to finish today with an awsome recomendation.
When things go wrong... just go back to basics... and to me... the basics are the classics. It has been a revelation the "reading" of Don Quijote de la Mancha from Miguel de Cervantes that we received as a wedding gift. The book is not just a book is an audiobook so the experience is double when you are actually enjoying driving in rush hour and you really want it to continue even when you arrived at your destiny.
It is in Spanish -as it should be- and is an excellent choice for spending your, sometime useless, hours inside your car.