Monday, August 28, 2006

MISS HIM...

I miss U :#
It hurts like hell not being able to call you or write to you....
I just need you sooooo much
JTA
Princesa

Feeling blue!

Growing up is really painful and now I really feel what love is, and how much is hiden within ourselves.
I hurt big time the man i love.. i really love... I can't imagine my life without him after sooo much we have lived.
But to some extent I am harmful to him... i hurt him and it hurts me more because I am still a child.
In my effort to make him close to me... I send him away!!
My heart is broken, torn into pieces and I am not finding a way to fix it
Everything came as in an avalanche... all at one time... all in just a couple of months....
I want to call him or write to him and let him know that I am still trying... that I would like him to
forgive me............. but he has the right to refuse to do it!
He warned me... and I didn't pay attention...

Right now he only thing I wish, is for him to read and feel this song.... it shows exactly how I feel.

Ansiedad
de tenerte en mis brazos
musitando palabras de amor

Ansiedad
de sentir tus encantos
y en la boca
volverte a besar

Quizás este llorando
al recordarte
mis lagrimas son perlas
que caen al mar
y el eco adormecido
desde lamento hace
que estes presente
en mi soñar

Quizás estés llorando al recordarme
y estreches mi retrato con frenecí
y hasta tu oido llegue
la melodia salvaje
y el eco de la pena
de estar sin ti

Perdoname PUNTOS GATO..... TE EXTRAÑO

Friday, August 25, 2006

Feeling alive.... hurts big time!

Yesterday... the usual thing that happens to newly wedds happened to me...
My husband was trying to solve his issues with someone else besides me...

Right,... he has the right to do it... specially if things are not working well.... but this hurts for several reasons:

1. The first....He didn't trust me... and now... I don't trust him either....
2. He thinks and truly hopes for me to be stupid and not realize what he wants....
3. He doesn't have the courage to face me and tell me what's wrong -well he claims to be confussed... OK, he might be, but the confussion is due to something... the split decision between his heart and his mind... between what he wants to do and what he has to do....
4. Because I saw it coming... I saw her... around him... hurt for her broken relationship....and looking for some tenderness....
5. He... as the blue charming prince... wants to save her... wants to help her take the best decition... ,
6. I decided to support him, and what I received...was the complain of being... too controling... too into it.... too invasive...
7. It hurts because he fooled himself.... and was blameing it to me....
8. Because now... I don't feel like being with him like this.....

He has to clear up his mind... but in the process he's hurting me and... I don't need it, I don't decerve being treated like that.... I am a PRINCESS and we are treated right, with love and deference... he really decerves to be by himself... to clear his mind....

But.....
I love him...
I don't want to leave him....
I want to work things out.....
Maybe... I don't want to give up so fast....
I want to fight for his love...

Because he is an awsome man
and I can help him become even greater...
I can give him a push, because I have been inspired throughout this relationship....and I know I can do it... just if he lets me to.
I have grown... I have matured...- well not so much because I called his mistress just to let her know what I thought about her and that is not very mature.... but at least I let the anger out of my chest.... sorry for her... good for me!-




This is me....
Not available -yet and hopefully not ever!-
but willing to change.... again... to learn... to grow... to play in the big leagues....
Te amo puntos gato... aunque estes confundido....
Quero hacerlo... pero lo haces tan dificil....

Sunday, August 06, 2006

De vinos y otras cosas

A wonderful day surronded by nature, pure and fresh air and a lovely moreno in charge of making me happy... we decided to go kayaking and an awsome trip started....